me and the fatman break ice

this is the story of how me and the fatman broke the ice.

I lies on the unmade bed, belly exposed, 8 nipples pointing from under my belly.
Enter the fatman, tired from a long day at the office.
Me: Where you been at?
Fatman: The office.
Me: Fatman: I needs you to rub my belly.

I proceed to rolls completely on my back and stretch.

Fatman (disgusted) : I don’t think so…
Me: I'll pay you...
Fatman: What?
Me: Yeah...I'll give you 34 cents.
Fatman: You'll do what?
Me:

Yeah, 34 cents… I got

(reaches into my pocket hidden by furry blubber)

a dime…a nickel…

(drops a dime, then a nickel on the mattress)

a crack pipe, a rolex, a timex, a kotex…

(pulls a corn bob pipe, 2 wrists watches, and a maxi pad

out of my pocket)

and 3 pennies.

I toss 3 pennies at the Fatman.

Fatman: This is isn't 34 cents.
Me: Shit, I’m just a cat. I can’t count.

The Fatman inspects the wrist watch.

Fatman: is this a fake?

I pull the sleeve on my right arm up to my elbow to reveal several gold wrist watches.

Then leave it to the Fatman to read aloud the print on the wrist watch.

Fatman: R-O-L-E-C-K-S?

At this point I warily slides my sleeve down and hide the several gold wrist watches. I cocks an eye brow.

Me: Are you wearin' a wire, Fatman?

The Lady walks in.

The Lady: What the hell is going on here?

Me: Shoot, Ms. The Lady I was just Unloading merchandise.

Fatman: He wanted me to rub his belly.

The Lady: Both of you get the hell out of my bedroom! Now!

and that's how me and the fatman broke the ice. Natch.

O -out