a visit to the dentist

the fat man settles into the dentist's chair and opens wide. the stench from his breaf is almost as bad as my anus. DEEP IN MY ANUS.

i, wearing my scrubs, saunter in and check his blood pressure. then i place the dental dam over his mouth. the fatman looks down at me.

fatman: oscar? what the shit?!

that is when the 10 cc's of muscle relaxer kick in. his eye lids get heavy and he slumps in the chair.

i stroke his sweaty forehead.

me: shhh....shhhh...

the dentist walks in.

dentist: are we ready?

me: yeah, yeah, sure, you betcha!

the dentist fires up his drill. i whisper into the fatman's ear.

me: we have ways of making you talk, fatman...

the sound of the drill drowns the whimpers from the fatman.

later that evening.

the fatman finally wakes from his daze. he finds me sitting on his chest, wearing my bib and rubbing butter on his nose.

fatman: errghhh.

me: shhh...shhh...

the lady: OSCAR! STEP AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND!

Damn!

i grudgingly climb off the fatman's sternum. i cast a glance back and am not surprised to see drool drip from his bloody mouth.

the lady: you should be ashamed of yourself! don't you understand it'll never work out between us?

i grab my guitar, my top hat, my wig and i storm out of the house.

time to play my solo!

O - out